


Goner

by psuedopoetic



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Murder, Rape/Non-con Elements, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, just....she has a lot going on ok, main character goes through a Lot, needs a hug honestly, please read the warnings tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:41:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28014885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psuedopoetic/pseuds/psuedopoetic
Summary: in which reya montoya goes back in time with bart allen to kill blue beetle, only for her plans to get ruined and bart to have a sudden change of heart
Relationships: Artemis Crock/Wally West, Barry Allen/Iris West, Jay Garrick/Joan Garrick
Kudos: 2





	1. Ash and Dust

**REYA HAD ALWAYS BEEN ON HER OWN.** She never knew her parents, they had died when she was a newborn, and then after that the people fell like flies, around long enough for her to get attached, but never long enough for her to hold them for herself. That was when Reya realized she was the only one going to protect herself--it was fight like a beast, or die.

When she saw what Bart Allen and Neutron were doing out in the scrap fields, she knew that was her chance. She struck a deal, that she'd protect them, protect their ship, that she'd keep everyone away from it, so long as they let her go with them. Because Reya didn't just want to go, she _needed_ to go.

That's how she ended up in a time machine, hurting through time, jagged metal clenched in her hand and blood splattered across her face. It was kill or be killed, that was the rules of the Wastelands. And Reya had chose kill, as she always did.

When everything came to a stop, like her skin wasn't being ripped off of her bones, she finally realized that she had been gripping the scrap tight enough to cut her palm. It stung terribly, pain shooting up her arm like electricity.

Bart let out a ragged breath, running his hand along his body to make sure he was still there--and then his eyes settled on Reya. "Clean that off, hurry. Before they come."

She wiped at her face hurriedly, making her face slightly red as she tried to get all the ash and blood off. She looked to him, and he merely shrugged, which was good enough for her. Because he was the one going to be center-stage, taking all the attention as Flash's grandson--all she had to do was kill Blue Beetle.

Bart kicked open the door and hopped out, arms spread out. "Ta-da!"

Reya came out after, less enthusiastic, standing beside him as she assessed the people in front of them. A man, tall and lean, some kinda of stick-like weapons in hand, a boy a bit older than her, fists raised, and a green boy with a tail. She knew they were heroes, but she had no idea who they were.

"Computer, lock down cave," the man said.

"Well," the green boy said, "I think we found our unknown energy impulse."

"Impulse?" Bart parroted. "That's so crash! Catchy, dramatic, one word." He sped over to the three. "Like Nightwing and Robin and Beast Boy." He frowned, holding his index finger beside his temple thoughtfully. "Except that's two words. Blue Beetle's two words. Hey, is he here too?"

He sped away toward a hallway, the stupid bright smile still on his face. "Never mind. Impulse can find that out for himself!"

"You two, after him."

It was only Reya and 'Nightwing' left. she could tell he was a good fighter--he wasn't malnourished like the people in her time--but she might be able to make it work. Long enough to find a way out, or find Blue Beetle. All she needed was the find him, slit his throat, and whatever happened after that didn't matter.

She raised her fists, aware of the knife in her jacket pocket. Stabbing this hero wouldn't be the best option, but she would if she had to.

He threw a punch toward her jaw and she jump back, letting him swing entirely through. He tried to kick her legs out and she once again jumped back, letting him balance himself again. He'd tire himself out, eventually, and then she'd strike.

But she miscalculated, cause he kicked forward, then quickly drew his foot back and punched her square in the stomach. She wrenched, bile rising in her throat from the force as she stumbled back. He grabbed her and forced her hands behind her back and she let out a yell, twisting wildly like a caged animal in his arms, knocking her head back into his chin forcefully enough to make him let go.

He grabbed her again, this time by the middle, and she kicked and punched, pulling at his hair until he let her go.

"I don't want to hurt you!" he yelled.

Reya didn't respond, she only went for her jacket pocket.

Someone slammed into her back and the knife flew out of her hands, clattering across the floor. A green cheetah sat on top of her, claws digging into her shoulder blades.

" _Get off of me!_ " she yelled, rolling harsh enough to throw them straight off. The boy let out a startled yelp when he shifted back, but she paid him no attention.

Nightwing punched her in the stomach once again and she grabbed his arm, nails digging into it as she twisted until his arm itself seemed to pop. He cried out, and with one swift move, he had managed to loop his leg around her and pin her down to the floor with his knee.

She cried out, writhing under his knee, hair in her face as she clawed at him, her heels hitting him square in the spine. His lips formed a thin line and he handcuffed her, wrists first, then ankles.

Reya struggled against him, the handcuffs slicing her wrists into ribbons as he sat her onto a bench.

"Don't move."

Like she'd listen.

But it didn't matter, because seconds later he had Bart, and then Bart was sitting beside her, handcuffed too. Bart could phase out of the handcuffs, take them out--no, he couldn't.

 _Dammit_.

Her hands worked behind her back as Bart hurriedly explained their story, trying to quietly break off a large splinter of the wooden bench. Anything was a shank if you were creative enough.

"You're a tourist . . . from the future?" Robin said.

"Why so surprised?" Bart said, a laugh bubbling in his voice. "Half the meat at Comic-Con are from my era." They weren't convinced, especially not Robin. "Look, look, look, guys, we should all be friends. I'm really one of you. Part of the _heroic legacy,_ right? My name's Bart Allen. You know, grandson of Barry Allen, the Flash."

"Noted," the green boy said. "Not believed, but noted."

"What's not to believe?" he laughed. "I've clearly got Flash's speed, his amazing good looks. Frankly, I can't wait to meet him." _Jesus fucking Christ_. "Uh, you know, back when he was in his prime."

Nightwing walked into the room, now holding two glasses of water. "Well, after coming all the way from the future you must have worked up quite a thirst."

Bart took a sip of the glass that he offered with a thanks before it dawned on him. "Oh, _ah_ , you're trying to get a DNA sample. You need my spit." He promptly spit into the glass. "Ha, that's such a Dick Grayson thing to do."

Robin's eyes went wide. "How did . . ."

"See?" Bart said. "I know things only a future boy would know." He smiled at them. "Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Garfield Logan."

The green boy frowned and pointed at them. "Your name is Tim? And yours is . . . Dick?"

Bart winced. "Oops, spoilers. This secret identity thing is so retro. I mean, you can call me Impulse or Bart or Bart Allen or Bart 'Impulse' Allen it's all crash."

Nightwing--or _Dick_ \--looked at Reya. "And who are you?"

"Reya," she answered. "And no fucking idea. You can take my DNA if you want, but I'm an orphan. I have no idea who my parents were, or who my grandparents are. Your guess is as good as mine."

Dick nodded, but she still took a sip of the water anyway. She had to force herself to stop after two, to not raise any suspicion, but it was hard. The water in the future didn't taste like that, none of it was entirely clean--the water in the past actually _tasted_ like something.

Recognized, Malcolm Duncan, A-10.

Bart looked at her while the others glanced away for a split-second, and Reya met his gaze, eyes set with determination. Fear flashed in his emerald eyes--pure, uncontrollable fear--and then it was over. The smiling facade was back up.

"Well, looks like that's my cue!"

He phased out of the handcuffs with ease, waved a quick goodbye to the three heroes, and was gone within seconds.

"Don't worry!" Beast Boy said. "The Peregrin Falcoln is the world's fastest bird--he won't get away!"

With a caw, the green bird was gone, and Reya was still there, handcuffed, wishing she was anything but. The plan was for Bart to stop his grandfather's dead and her to find Blue Beetle and kill him, no matter what. But there wasn't any way to get Reya out of the Cave. Not with three heroes and Bart unable to carry her.

A dark-skinned man came in, wheeling his vehicle after him. Reya had never seen anything like it. It was small, with two wheels, and a sleek black color--she wanted to touch it.

Nightwing pulled up a holographic screen with a red dot making a quick line across what Reya could only guess was the United States. She never quite understood the past's geography, and she still didn't. 

"You planted a tracer?" Robin asked. "It'll fall off at his speed."

"It won't. He drank it."

Reya felt her stomach flip and bile rose in her throat, an awful sinking feeling settling in her chest. They would know where she was, at everyone moment, no matter what. She didn't want that to happen, not again. She couldn't let it happen, she came to _stop_ that, to stop becoming their pawn, and she was just going to be another--

"Are you okay, kid?"

Her head snapped up, narrowed eyes fixed on the man with the vehicle. He quickly raised his hands in a mock surrender pose. "You look like you're having some kinda . . . episode."

"Don't talk to her," Nightwing said as he hung up his device. When did he get that out? "We don't know who she is."

"She's a _child,_ " the man said, tossing a hard look his way. "Are the handcuffs really necessary?"

"She came in what--theoretically--could be a time machine with a speedster who claims to be the Flash's grandson from the future, and she claims to have no idea who her family is. It's reason for concern."

The man blinked, then quickly recovered, like he was used to such shocks like that. "...Oh. Maybe handcuffs are a good idea."

Hopefully Bart could do it. He wasn't supposed to--he hadn't ever killed someone before--but he could do it, he had to. Still, even if Reya didn't care much for him, a small part of her panged with guilt. She was the one that was supposed to kill Blue Beetle, because she was good at it, but above all because she wouldn't lose a second of sleep for it.

If Bart killed someone, it would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Nightwing flicked the holographic screen away and crossed his arms. She couldn't see his eyes behind his mask, but she knew without a doubt that he was staring right at her. She could feel his eyes burning into her forehead. She stared back, a small challenging glint in his eyes, daring him to make a move. That was Reya, always pushing, itching for bruised knuckles and bloody noses.

"How old are you?"

"Thirteen."

Robin seemed a bit surprised by that, but he didn't say anything. Reya supposed she could understand that in this time she wasn't exactly the average thirteen year old. She had a wide, mottled scar across her nose, dozens littering her skin, choppy hair. But that was normal in her time. It didn't seem right, they all looked wrong here. They were too clean, too nice--too _everything_.

Even the room they were in was overwhelming.

"Do you have powers?"

"No."

"Any family?"

"Orphan, remember?"

"Where were you born?"

"New York City."

"How do you know Impulse?"

"We're friends. Unfortunately."

Mal sighed. "I hate to say it, man, but I don't think there's anything wrong with her." He frowned. "Except for a scary attitude."

Nightwing's lips formed a thin line, and it was clear he didn't believe him. "What's your favorite color?"

She blinked so suddenly that her head jerked back, eyes slightly wide. "What?"

"Your favorite color, what is it?"

"...Blue."

"Good." He looked at her, like he was trying to pick her apart. She hated it. "You're not a hero, not like Bart is."

"Excuse me?"

"You're sloppy, he's trained a certain way, I recognize it. But you weren't trained by any hero--or anyone professional--it's all cut-throat, self-defense. There isn't an offense in your moves."

She stared at him, a strand of hair falling down in front of her blue eyes. "And you aren't trained like a hero, either," she spit out, before she could stop herself. "Your movements are too quick, too skilled. It's all a game to you, like cat and mouse. You take it seriously, but you always believe you're above your opponents. Like you know everything in the world."

Reya had to hold back a smirk of satisfaction when Nightwing's lips formed a rigid line. If there was one thing it was good at, it was getting under people's skin. She could always create a fight, even in the best of friends.

"I can gag her?"

"No, Robin, we're not gagging anyone," Nightwing said, sounding tempted. "She's just scared."

Reya made a noise that sounded like a snarl. "I am not _scared_."

Nightwing didn't respond, and Reya knew exactly what she was doing--she had just done it to him--but she was quick to ignite. She always had been.

"So what are we gonna do with her?" the man--that still hadn't been given a name--asked.

"Nothing," Nightwing answered simply. "Impulse is in Central City, but Wally's already there making sure nothing goes wrong. Until we know what he's planning, there's nothing we can do with her."

"Alright."

Reya wondered, distantly, if they could smell the ash in her hair and lungs.


	2. Chosen

**THE PLAN WAS COMPLETELY FUCKED.** Reya didn't care that they were staying with the Garricks, she didn't care how it made her feel like she didn't belong--she cared that Bart was going back on their plan. Bart hadn't killed Blue Beetle, and he didn't want either of them to.

Apparently, he had taken a run by Blue Beetle's house and decided that he wasn't a threat. "He's only sixteen," he tried to reason. "He's barely even a hero."

The moment the Garricks left, Reya had started a screaming match, berating him and waving her hands around angrily. Because this was _Blue Beetle_ they were talking about, how in the world could Bart go back on their plan? He wasn't even the one that was supposed to kill him, that was her job. So why did it bother him whether or not he died?

But he had cornered her. He said that if she left to kill him, he'd tell the Garricks, who would tell Barry, who would stop her before she even left the city. It was a bitch move, and she made sure that he knew it.

Because the only way to get past it was kill Bart. And even though Reya lacked morality after so many years, she still couldn't make herself kill Bart. As much as she hated him at the moment, she couldn't.

And because she couldn't, she had to go to the mall. The Garricks had decided that they couldn't keep wearing the couple's clothes since they were impossibly large on them, so they thought it was time to go shopping. Reya didn't think so, the idea made her want to crawl out of her skin, but it had been decided.

They were going shopping. All four of them--Barry, Wally, Bart and Reya. She hated it, she'd rather get impaled for the second time, but she didn't have much of a choice.

That left her in a jacket much to big for her, heart nearly breaking out of her chest, and her fists clenched so tight inside her pockets she thought she'd rip straight through the bone. There were so many _people_ , and so many sounds, and so many smells, and so many things and so many--

"What stores do you kids like?"

"I-I don't know," Reya said, trying to swallow down her panic. "None of these stores exist in our future."

They seemed to not notice how she was rapidly becoming overwhelmed, because they walked straight through the food court, which made it awfully worse, straight into a store she didn't recognize the name of. She had never been good at reading--there weren't many materials--and the letters always seemed to switch in the wrong ways.

She didn't ask what it was actually called and instead followed behind close behind Bart. She hated him so much it physically hurt, but he was the only thing familiar to her, and it seemed like she'd fall straight through the floor without him.

It was a shoe store, she could tell now that she wasn't staring down at the floor. There weren't many people there, which she was thankful for, but there was music playing dimly, and the sound of it made her neck twitch slightly.

"What shoe size are you two?" Barry asks, but it seems a thousand miles away.

"I don't . . . I never really asked," Bart said, quickly recovering. "I didn't buy my own shoes."

No, the numbers were always far too worn, or they were stolen. Numbers didn't matter, it only mattered that you could squeeze your feet into them until they fell apart too much to be repaired. 

"I thought we should start here," Flash--Barry--said. "Since you're going to be doing a lot of running, we should get you some shoes. Here--Wally, grab those, they look thick enough."

The redhead obliged, grabbing a box of grey sneakers that looked too nice and shiny. "Try these on."

Bart did, and he smiled a toothy grin. "Perfect, gramps."

"Get two."

Bart tensed slightly when Wally grabbed two boxes, but he didn't object. Reya wanted to. Two was too many, they didn't even need any, their shoes hadn't fallen apart yet. Why was everything in the past new? Why did it have to be perfect? Her shoes still worked, they hadn't even ripped open yet.

"What about you?"

"I-I don't--"

"It's fine," Barry says, painfully understanding of her. "What kinda shoes do you like?"

She blinked, wishing that the music would stop playing. "Thick ones, ones that last long and don't need tape."

He seemed surprised by that answer, but he quickly tried to cover it up. "Alright. How about these? Try 'em on, see if they fit."

They were a pair of red sneakers, shiny and soft, unlike the rough fabric of the future. She put them on, and they left more room than her other's did, and she nearly sighed in relief. Hopefully these wouldn't make her toes bleed.

Barry squeezed at her toes, thumbs pressing at the front of the shoe, and she tensed at the touch. "These are tight. Wall, can you grab an eight?"

Reya took off the shoe, wondering why he thought it was too tight, and tried on an identical pair. They weren't as tight, they didn't squeeze at her toes, and she guessed they were better.

"Those fit?" Barry asked as he squeezed at her toes again. It was so _casual_ , were they this affectionate in the future?

"Yeah, they're good."

Barry pays for the shoes, whipping out a plastic green card from his wallet, and Reya doesn't understand money, but she knows it was expensive, and it makes her stomach flip at the idea of these people paying that much for her. Bart didn't seem as bothered as her, and she wondered why.

 _Oh_. Because these people were his family, he'd been waiting his entire life to meet them. He was overwhelmed, too, but he didn't care.

That only soured her mood further, especially when they went into a big store with so many people and loud music that talked about dancing and drinks and kissing and love. Reya had a split-second thought of slamming her head straight into the sharp metal rack they walked past, but she didn't, even though she wanted to.

Wally stopped her while Barry and Bart walked ahead, and she stared at him, eyes narrowed, expecting him to start attacking even though it didn't make sense.

"Here," he said, handing her a pair of earbuds connected to nothing. "I have a friend--uh, like you--he doesn't like loud noises. He has superhearing. But he says these help. He might be lying, but here."

She stared at the white earbuds in her hands, glancing from them to him. "I . . . thank you."

"Yeah, no problem."

It was no big deal to him, but to her, it was something entirely different. No one had ever cared enough to do that for her, and to him, it was nothing but casual. 

She clutched them tight and put them in her ears, tucking the cord into her jacket pocket. They didn't do much, but the feeling of them seemed to comfort her.

Thankfully, they didn't include her much in the rapid conversation they were having, and Reya stood toward the back of them, picking at a loose string in the pocket of her jacket. She missed her jacket--the one that she had to leave behind--that smelt of ash and smoke. The one she never took off. And she missed her bag, the one that she had since she was nine, the one that had everything of hers in it. She couldn't bring it, it was too suspicious and smelt too strong of ash, but she yearned for it. 

She wanted her weapons, not the sharp apple knife she'd swiped from the Garricks silverware drawer. The one that was made from some old hero, who she'd stolen from. She was nearly certain that he took it back when she was gone, and that everyone rifled through her bag like the animals they all were.

Like the animal _she_ was. Because nothing in that bag started as hers, it was stolen, or scavenged, or left blood on her hands. Nothing had ever been hers, not really.

"Do you like this shirt?"

Her head snapped up quickly, and she stared at the shirt in Barry's hands. It was of the sun and a flower, cartoon-ish and childish. "Uh . . ."

"It's okay to say you like something," he assured. "This is all going on the League expenses. Get anything you want."

"I like it," she said, entirely unsure of what she actually liked.

Barry smiled. "Alright. You need any help picking out clothes?"

At her hesitant answer, Wally waved at her, motioning her to follow him. "C'mon, he has awful style, don't let him help you."

They walk toward what she reads as the youth section, or what she hopes she read as that, because it's only five letters, and it would be painfully sad if she couldn't read only five.

"So, you got a favorite style or something?"

"What?"

"T-shirts, tank-tops, hoodies . . .?"

"Anything," she said, fiddling with the cord in her pocket. "I don't care."

"Do you know your size?"

"No."

"Can I check?"

She didn't object even though she wanted to, and allowed him to move her hair to the side and pull back the hem of her shirt to check the tag. His finger brushes against the back of her neck as she does, and she tenses, nearly shooting straight forward to escape the touch even though a small part of her wants to lean back into it.

The small moment of yearning is over when she realizes where his finger brushed over. She jerks forward, pushing her hair back over the spot. An earbud falls out, but she doesn't pay it any notice.

They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, Wally's eyes slightly wide, hand stilled, and her face a threatening defensive one, like she expected him to suddenly burst.

"Uh, so," Wally says, laughing abruptly to clear the air. "How about those clothes?"

Reya nodded jerkily, her heart still beating fast in her chest. Because no one was supposed to _know_ , that's why she came back, to stop it from happening.

She didn't ask to get the chip, she was chosen.


	3. Systems

**REYA THOUGHT WALLY WAS HANDLING HIS LONGTIME GIRLFRIEND'S DEATH PRETTY WELL.** Though she guessed she didn't have a lot to go off of, since she had never been close with anyone to know how it felt to grieve. And she had only met Artemis a few times--there was a small pang, but that was it.

People died all the time, it was nothing new. If anything, Artemis got an honorable death by dying as a 'hero.' In the future, most died over picking fights, scavenging in dangerous areas, or starvation. Nothing said important like dying out in the fields and being dragged away by another starving worker.

She had said she was sorry to Wally, and that was as far as it went. She didn't know what to say or do. Everyone else was hugging him, saying sweet things, and patting him on the back, but that didn't seem to compute in her brain. Why would she do that? Why would they do that?

Rationally, she knew why--he was grieving, he was their family member--but the larger part of her didn't understand. It was so _strange_ , it seemed alien.

Reya had decided that grieving was stupid and affection was stupid and if one more person put their hand on her shoulder she was going to stab herself. Why did people keep touching her? She wasn't the one who lost someone, and she wasn't their grandchild, either. It didn't make sense to her--she was just a random kid who happened to come with Bart. She wasn't even a hero.

When she died, she was probably going to be buried in an unmarked grave. Somehow, the thought seemed funny to her, and she had to hold back her laugh. She at least knew it wasn't alright to laugh when everyone was staring at a holographic image of Artemis.

Bart's loud chewing brought her out of her thoughts, the speedster shoveling one chip after another, completely unaware how loud it was. When everyone--Robin, Beast Boy, _Blue Beetle_ \--looked at him, he shrugged. "Uh, sorry. Mourning makes me hungry."

Blue Beetle grabbed Bart by the shirt and dragged him away, toward other holograms farther from the group. Reya hurried after them, eyebrows pulled tight together as she glared at him. He seemed to get the message and let go of the boy. Which was good, because Reya could pull out the knife in her jacket pocket before he could stop her.

"You stole those freeze-dried Chicken Wheezies from my locker, didn't you?" he accused.

"Hey, hey, hey, where I come from, it's not stealing, it's scavenger rights." He pointed at the bag in his hand. "The point is, we don't have Chicken Wheezies, freeze-dried or otherwise in my era. So blame Kid Flash, he got me hooked."

It was true. Reya still had a bag hidden under the bed she slept in.

Blue Beetle shook his head tiredly. "Forget I asked."

Bart shot Reya a quick look when Blue Beetle turned his head--a clear _'don't murder him, dammit.'_

"So why is this here?" he asked. "I mean, it's pretty and everything. But these people are heroes. In the line of duty and all that. They should have giant statues and big crashing memorials in the, uh, Hall of Justice or something."

"Yeah, I asked that too," Blue Beetle said. "Captain Atom said the League doesn't want or need a public shrine to its fallen. But I don't know. Seems to me they just don't wanna advertise we're not immortal. The handful of regular people who have seen me in action, they think I'm this guy in a new costume. The world will never know about Ted Kord's sacrifice."

They didn't, not really. They only knew that the Blue Beetle enslaving them wasn't the same one they knew and love. It was an imposter.

Bart smiled slightly and walked forward to point a finger at Jaime's chest. "But you know," he said lightheartedly. "And you're carrying on the grand Blue Beetle heroic tradition, right?"

"I wish," he huffed. "It's such a total rip. Superboy has Superman. Wonder Girl has Wonder Woman. Robin has Batman, Nightwing and _Batgirl_. You two have been in this era, like what, five minutes? And already you have three Flash mentors. One feeds you junk food."

Bart pinched Reya's arm at high-speed before she could yell at him.

"But me? I never even got the chance to meet the guy who should have been my mentor."

"Heh, I hear that." Bart put a hand on his shoulder. "You know, we have more in common than you might think. Our love of Chicken Whizees, for example." He started leading Blue Beetle toward the stairs and Reya followed behind. "Let me buy you some to replace the bag I salvaged. We'll hang, it'll be totally crash."

"Uh, sure."

"Great. Got any money?"

When they reached the training room--or the only exist--Superboy and Mal were there. Mal was nice, he was the man she had met the day she arrived, but he was too friendly and it made her want to punch him.

"Hey," Mal greeted, smiling, but it had that edge to it--like almost everyone's did. She was used to it. Everytime someone spoke to her, she could practically see the hesitation in their eyes, how they weren't sure what she was going to do.

Good. She didn't know either.

"Have you thought about your name?"

Reya's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What?"

"Your alias," Mal explained. "Bart's Impulse, Jaime's Blue Beetle. You got one?"

"I . . . I don't know." She never had a name like him. "I'm not a hero, so it doesn't matter."

"Oh, I just thought--"

"I'm gonna go back to the Garricks," she abruptly said, turning to Bart. "Go--go do whatever."

She knew it was stupid, she knew they could tell some switch in her brain had flipped, but she couldn't help it. Because they all had names, but she didn't have one, and that was fine, because she wasn't a hero and she couldn't ever be one.

Except that she did have a name, one that she couldn't use. She still remembered it, the way people screamed it at her, angry and grieving--Blood Bitch. The girl who had too much blood on her hands, always looking for a fight.

When she got out of the Zeta-Beam, she kicked a trash can in the alley over, trash spilling out onto the ground. She kept walking past it, back toward the Garricks' house, feeling like fire was beneath her feet.

She had came back to stop Blue Beetle, but she couldn't do that. No, she could--she could. It didn't matter if they locked her away for the rest of her life, it wasn't like she had anything worth staying for. She never had anyone, it wouldn't change in the past or anywhere she went.

No one would care if there was more blood on her hands, they'd care that it was Jaime's. Maybe, if she was lucky, they'd lock her away somewhere, somewhere she'd never have to see another soul. Or better--

She let out a yelp, punching forward purely on instinct, landing a hit on a man's broad shoulder. Reya stepped backward, hand going to her pocket, and then they turned around.

It was Barry. Of course it was Barry. He was the only person who could materialize out of thin air by the front door.

They stared at each other for a second, a part of Reya knowing she was supposed to apologize, and the rest of her thinking that that was ridiculous.

"What's in your pocket?"

"What?" Reya rolled her eyes. "Oh. It's instinct, I kept spray in there in the future. I didn't bring it."

"Let me see."

She took a step back, face pinching together. "Don't touch me." He went to reach a hand out, and she took another step back, nearly falling off the stone step. "Don't-- _don't fucking touch me_. You're not--people don't do that, you're not supposed to do that."

"I won't," he said, like he was trying to talk down a jumper. "Just let me see what's in your pocket, okay?"

Reya stared him down, clutching the thing in her pocket tightly, silently daring him to do anything--and he did. Because he was faster than anyone she had ever met. He was the Flash, he was faster than a normal girl.

He blinked, like he wasn't quite sure what he was looking at, and then it made sense to him. "...Why do you have a kitchen knife in your pocket?"

"Mind your business," she spit, shoving past him into the house, into the room she and Bart shared. Fuck him, fuck them, fuck everyone.

She wanted to go back, she didn't care what that meant--she wanted to go back to a place where people didn't fake their care, she wanted the place where no one cared and everything made sense.


	4. Shards

**REYA DIDN'T HAVE ZETA CLEARANCE**. Which sucked, because that meant Bart was going to El Paso alone--which she very much didn't want--and she had to stay at the Garricks, which she didn't want, either. But it wasn't like she had a choice. She had Zeta clearance to the Cave and all of Central City--all of which were nowhere near Texas.

She had proposed that she could steal a car in the morning and be their around the same time he was that night, or steal some money for a bus ticket, but Bart had quickly shot those down. "It's illegal," he'd said. "No more illegal stuff."

Just because he said that she had shoved a few lollipops up her jacket sleeve on the way to the Cave. Because, well, what would they do? Arrest her? It wasn't that scary, she'd deal with it. Plus, she ran fast.

The thing she was acutely aware of when she entered the cave, though, was Nightwing staring directly at her. For a moment, she thought that Barry had told him about the knife, but it was unlikely. And it didn't matter, since she'd already replaced said knife. He was most likely just uneasy around her--everyone was, it was a given no matter how many times they met.

"Did Wally give you that?" he asked as she examined the orange candy.

"No," she said. "CVS."

He blinked, nodding at the answer. "Can you help me with this?"

She stared at him suspiciously, the lollipop back in her mouth. "Why?"

"Tell me when the dot goes red and where."

"What's it for?"

"Possible Kroloteans left on earth," he said, and she had no idea what those were. 

"Okay." She swirled the lollipop around in her mouth, wincing slightly as it cut her tongue. "...Stop doing that."

His eyebrows creased together as he swiped several holograph screens away, moving in a flurry. "Excuse me?"

"You keep looking at me," she stated. "It's creepy."

His lips formed a thin line, but he didn't say anything. Reya wished people would just say something. She knew they thought she was weird, creepy, harsh, all of the above, but that was better than staring every few seconds.

If there was one thing she hated, it was being stared at without explanation. Or at all.

"It's--it's blinking," she announced, making him stop on the spot for a second. He continued though, clearly preoccupied. "I said it's blinking!"

"What does it say? I gotta finish this before--"

"I . . . I don't know." Her cheeks were burning like a wildfire. "I-I can't read it."

Everything always swarmed together in her head, and she had barely read anything in her life, and combined with the blinking red light it wasn't possible.

"I--okay."

He was trying to hide the slight annoyance in his voice, but it still bled through. Because of course--what thirteen year old from his time couldn't read? She spent all her time at the Garricks, eating their food, using their water, their beds, _everything_ , the least she could do was read some stupid thing off to Nightwing.

But no, that was too much of a challenge for her. Complete _bullshit_.

"...Alright, got the coordinates saved, synching and . . . done. Sent to the League already." He glanced at her, noticing the way her previously mostly-intact lollipop was now currently being chewed up at an angry rate. "It's okay, Reya. It wasn't that important."

She swallowed abruptly, the candy shards scratching down her throat. " _But it_ \--yeah, you're right. Just . . . whatever. Is that all you needed?"

"Yeah, and--"

The computer announced Bart and Blue Beetle's arrival and Reya's neck nearly snapped from how fast she turned, immediately facing the Zeta Tubes. They were fucking _smiling_. Why were they smiling?

"Let them in the dust!" Bart laughed.

Reya's face scrunched together. "Left who?" She eyed the strange device in his hands. "...And what the hell is that?"

"Souvenir," Bart said, pointing at the thing. 

"Souvenir's are Beast Boy's thing, Ese."

"Oh really? I thought it was Kid Flash--"

"Can we get to it?" Nightwing cut in.

Reya followed behind him, arms crossed, giving a clear _what the fuck_ look to Bart.

"Sorry," Blue Beetle said. "Aqualad attacked us with Icicle Jr., the Terror Twins and a ninja girl I didn't recognize."

"This is how they tracked Blue." Bart held the device up, grinning like a fool. "I made sure they couldn't do it again."

"So you brought foreign--possibly _alien_ \--tech into the Cave?" Nightwing said, tone as sharp as a knife. "Rookie mistake." He sighed, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Alright, give it here."

Reya bit the inside of her cheek. "This--this Aqualad, is he the same Aqualad that--"

"He was our friend," Nightwing answered. "From year zero of the Team. He betrayed us, joined the Light . . . and killed Artemis."

"Oh. Bummer."

She pulled another lollipop out of her jacket, that one a grape. Her nose wrinkled at the taste, it was too sweet, but she continued anyway. "How are you sure it's safe?"

"'Safe?'"

"That it isn't tracking, or something," she explained. "Like--like it doesn't have a chip in it for them to track Blue Beetle again."

"I--I don't."

Reya's stomach flipped. "Then can we get rid of it? Or--or just throw it in the ocean?"

"If they're tracking us, they already know he's here, the ping's stayed here too long," Nightwing said. "If they're not, then--"

A sharp beep erupted from the monitor and Nightwing's spine straightened. "They're here."

Reya turned just as he did, Superboy's half-conscious body flung across the room, knocking Nightwing down with him. Panic built in her chest and she pulled out her knife, a jagged one that she thought might be for fruit, or something--but it was dangerous enough.

"Where did you get a knife?!" Blue Beetle yelled.

From a hallway above--maybe a hatch--stood a man who she assumed was Icicle Jr. He fired ice down, blocking the exit. Bart sped up the wall while Blue Beetle flew into the air, leaving Reya on the ground, knife clutched tightly, the lollipop still in her mouth for some ungodly reason.

Two people walked in--the Terror Twins, they looked too much alike--the woman carrying Beast Boy over her shoulder.

"Aw, you got a knife?" the man said. "How cute."

Bart sped back down the wall, Icicle Jr. no longer a problem, and straight into the woman. He bounced off, the man catching him in one large, meaty fist. Bart punched at him, rapid-fire, but it had no effect on the man.

"Ah! My hands! What are you made of?"

"Snips and snails and puppy dog tails."

The woman dropped Beast Boy and charged, and Reya jumped to the side, but the woman grabbed her by the calf and yanked her. Reya's clenched her teeth, the lollipop exploding into a million pieces in her mouth as she hit the ground and rolled.

"You got some fight for a human."

"Yeah, fuck you." 

The woman grabbed her around the middle, knocking her onto her back, and Reya drove the knife down, straight into her shoulders, and with a bit of pushing, it seemed to get past her nearly-invulnerable skin.

" _Shit!_ You little brat!"

Reya rolled out from under her, but the knife wouldn't come free, it was still lodged in the woman's back. _No weapons_. Reya was down to fight anyone, but even she knew it was impossible for her to fight that woman.

"You're gonna come with me and you're gonna like it," she snarled, grabbing Reya by the hair and jerking her backward. "You insufferable little--

The woman screamed in pain, stumbling backward, blood spilling between her fingers around her eye. The lollipop stick stuck between her fingers like a splinter.

Reya spit out the lollipop shards onto the floor.

" _Tuppence!_ "

The man burst forward, grabbing Reya by the neck before she could even attempt to move out of the way. She gasped, slapping against his hands, kicking his chest with all the force she had, but it was no use. Even as she clawed his arms like a rabid cat, his seemed too angry to notice any of it.

When Reya dropped to the floor, limp, everyone aside from Nightwing and Blue Beetle were unconscious. Neither spared her more than a glance.


	5. Not Enough

**REYA KNEW WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE STRAPPED DOWN ON A METAL TABLE.** She instantly recognized the feeling.

She wrenched, trying to break herself free even though, deep down, she knew it was impossible. She didn't have super strength or anything of the sort, or superspeed like Bart--something as simple as leather straps was enough to keep her down.

There were alien clicking noises and she froze, barely holding back the urge to vomit. She knew that language--hell, she understood half of it--she knew exactly what they had said.

"The subject is awake."

She struggled against the restrains, her eyes burning with tears as she tried to find some way free.

"Do not struggle," they said, this time in English. "There is no use."

"Please," Reya whimpered, tears leaking out of the corner of her eyes. "Please don't do this."

"Pitiful," a deep voice scoffed. "Can we put a muzzle on that thing?"

The Reach from before gasped in indignation. "No! We must know why it had Reach tech inside of its neck--and we can't know that if it can't speak!"

The other Reach grunted. "Very well. But keep it quiet."

Reya was shaking, her eyes shut tight, tears still leaking past. Everything was switching, things weren't making sense, and old memories kept flashing in her head, and she couldn't tell what was real or what was fake. The pain, the scissors, the chip, their hands, their hands everywhere, oh god their _hands_ \--

"Stay still!" the Reach huffed, a cold, dainty hand clamping down on Reya's neck. "The more you move, the deeper the cut."

Reya still struggled, wild in her restraints, like a caged animal, sharp teeth and all. Because she wasn't going to let it happen again, and there was nothing for her to lose, there was no one coming for her, no one would come for her and she'd be trapped and she'd--

A needle pinched into her neck and her spine went impossibly straight, muscles coiling tightly together as her body began to droop. With a final wrench of her body, she collapsed into the chair, a scalpel against her neck.

_* * *_

**_WHEN REYA OPENED_** her eyes, she was strapped entirely down. She couldn't move, not even an inch, and a strap came down over her head, forcing her face into the hole of the head rest, while one came down at her shoulders. So she couldn't move, but they would still have perfect access to the chip.

"She's awake," the deep voice said.

It was never going to end--she came back to stop it, so they couldn't put her on mode, but they were going to do it anyway. All that--all that _killing_ and _sacrifice_ \--it had been for nothing. The scars from fights and the calluses that would never leave were for nothing. 

She was going to be theirs, just as she always was.

"This technology is laughable," the female Reach said. A doctor or scientist, she had to be. "I don't know how she came upon this, but whoever did it did not have the resources to improve it."

"Is it your work?" the deep voice ask. "Whose is it?"

"I . . . do not know. But it is Reach technology. It might be stolen. But I can perfect it--whoever made this had the right idea, it is like a small version of the scarab."

"They were trying to make more scarabs?" the deep voice asked.

"No. I think they were trying to put them on mode using the same technology. It would work, but it would fry her system in years time."

"And you can perfect it?"

"I can do more." Reya nearly cried at the woman's tone. "I can make a crude version of the beetle--I can give her a scarab of her own."

" _No!_ " Reya cried, trying to break free. " _You can't fucking do this!_ You can't make me like him! I won't be one of them, I won't!"

"Hush, child," the woman scoffed. "Once the technology is perfected, you won't have enough control of your body to know what you want."

When the woman began to dig around in Reya's skin, she screamed until her throat bled.

_* * *_

**_THEY HAD STITCHED_** her neck and put a bandage over it. When they finally unbuckled the restraints and demanded for her to stand, Reya couldn't physically do it. After being stuck in that position for so long, her muscles couldn't move off of the table.

The Reach she had come to know as Black Beetle scoffed in disgust, and with one swift movement of his large arm, he picked her up. She cried out, cramps immediately following, but he didn't care and continued down the hall, a crippling grip on her. She was shaking, from both pain and fear, and she couldn't comprehend what they wanted to do with her.

They passed a room, where the scientist Reach was, and Reya twisted, eyes wide. " _Bart!_ " she cried. "Bart, please!"

"He can't hear you, child," Black Beetle mocked. "None of them can. _No one_ is coming to save you."

He was right. No one would look for her. The League would come for the others, but not her. They wouldn't even look for her. Because why would they? She wasn't on their team, she wasn't a hero, and she wasn't any of their family. 

Reya had never had family, she never had anyone to leave in the past like Bart did. It wasn't a hard decision to leave. The only thing holding her back from letting them put her on mode was the fear--she had nothing to lose, but she didn't want to be one of them.

Black Beetle walked into a room with one singular tile shower and carelessly threw her onto the floor, gentle enough not to break anything, but enough to leave bruises that would blossom in mere minutes.

"Wash," he ordered. "You need to be clean before they do the procedure."

She got to her feet, limbs stiff, and looked over her shoulder fearfully at Black Beetle, who was still standing there, arms crossed. His faceplate moved slightly to show his disgust. "Wash, human. I'm not looking at you, no one wants to do that."

Yeah, that's what someone said last time, too. And they didn't mean it at all. If she thought about it too hard, she could almost feel that person behind her again.

The water was cold, making her shiver down to the bone, washing away the grime and tangles in her hair. It was just like before, an almost identical bathroom, but this time it was Black Beetle watching her, prodding her to hurry, and not a Reach technician. Black would be her Blue, this time.

When she shut off the water, Black Beetle handed her clothes--Reach clothes. Bile rose in her throat at the thought of wearing the clothes of the people that enslaved her her entire life.

She put them on anyway.

With her hair still dripping down her back, Black Beetle walked her down the hall, a hand clamped onto the nape of her neck. She struggled to pull air into her lungs at the amount of pain it caused.

Suddenly the ship shook and she nearly fell to her knees, but Black Beetle's hand squeezed around her neck and she gasped, clawing at his hands for air. 

"Stop that!" he snarled, pulling her to her feet. He grabbed her by the wrist and started jogging, nearly dragging her behind him.

Reya looked wildly around, trying to see what had made the ship shake. An explosion? Whatever it was, it had to be better than what was happening to her. If she died a fiery death, it would be a thousand times better than her current hell.

And that's when she saw it.

Nightwing. Down the hall, fighting a Reach warrior. _It was her only chance._

"Nightwing!" She fought against Black Beetle's terrifying grip, the bones of her wrist grinding together. "Nightwing! Please--fuck, oh god-- _Dick!_ "

Tears pooled in her eyes and she kicked desperately at Black Beetle, slapping and clawing at his armor, twisting like a rabid animal. "Let me go, let me go! Let me go, _let me go, let me go!_ "

Nightwing turned, eyes wide, finally realizing it was her. "Reya!"

He was sprinting toward, and for a flickering moment, Reya dared to do the one thing she never did: hope.

And then the Reach warriors came out of a doorway, swarming Nightwing, and it was no use.

That was her only chance. They had found the people they came for, they wouldn't look for her again.

Reya's foot hit Black Beetle's armor so hard it broke, but still, as he dragged her away, into an escape ship, she thrashed like the beast she was.

It wasn't enough.


	6. How It Ends

**REYA HAD ALWAYS EXPERIENCED PAIN.** There wasn't a single moment in her life where she didn't at least have the twinge of a raw callous or a healing bruise. Even the chip didn't compare to the pain she felt every moment her eyes were open.

They had taken her to another Reach ship, one far, far away. She was strapped to another table, and it began. Fluids in her veins to keep her alive, a tube down her throat, and a _thing_ attached to her back.

Every time she remembered what she had become bile rose in her throat, making her gag around the tube. Because she didn't want to be one of them, she'd rather die a thousand times.

She could feel it there, on her back. It was horrifying to realize she'd gotten used to the pieces of it inside of her, but the rest was impossible to get past. The legs stretching out, wrapping around her sides and stopping halfway across her ribs.

They didn't tell her what it was, but she knew it was a scarab. But the scarabs were supposed to speak, she saw Black Beetle argue with his as he guarded the door. Except hers didn't say anything—maybe it was because it was a different kind, one engineered recently. Maybe it wasn't a conscious being.

Somehow that made everything worse for her. Because that meant she had a _thing_ attached to her back that would soon control her, something that didn't even exist aside from its programming.

"Stop fighting the tube!" the scientist yelled, slapping her across the cheek. "If you don't eat the paste, you'll die!"

She scoffed in disgust, fingernail carelessly scratching against a scab on Reya's face as she pulled away. "But that's what you want, is it not?"

A small part of her wanted to try to say 'fuck you,' but the larger part one, and she stopped fighting against the tube. It didn't matter what she did. Her body was already allowing the scarab in fully--in a short time, it'd all be over. Reya would cease to exist, and a Beetle would take her place.

"The sooner you stop fighting, the sooner the pain ends," the scientist said. "If you don't, this can drag on for weeks."

Reya wanted to try and mouth around the tube that it already had, but she realized she had no idea how long she had been there. It could have been days, or weeks, or months. There was no light aside from the florescent lighting, there weren't any clocks, she only slept when she passed out from pain or a cocktail of medicine--it was terrifying to realize she had no idea how long they had been using her like a test subject.

The feeling of the tube moving with the liquid concoction of protein and nutrients made her gag, but even as she tried to move her neck, it didn't work. She finally shut her eyes as the scientist walked to a computer in the corner of the room, allowing her throat to relax around the tube after a few moments.

Then the ship shook, a deep, terrifying noise erupting from what she could only guess was the steel beams. Maybe the had hit a reef, or a rock--she didn't know anything about the ocean, but it didn't sound encouraging.

 _Maybe,_ if she was lucky, she'd _drown_.

Alarms started to blare and the scientist scowled, hands formed into fists as she hurried over to Reya. "Why do your people keep doing this? What's so important about you? Was it the chip?"

Reya shook her head, gagging hopelessly around the tube as her neck moved. Because she didn't have people, no one was coming to look for her, and definitely not because of the chip.

"Don't lie to me!" the scientist hissed. "How did they know you were here? Why are they here?"

She gagged, a muffled word coming out around the tube that didn't make any sense.

The scientist struck her across the cheek. "He'll kill you for this! Or worse, he'll make you his personal--"

The scientist was on the ground, a gust of wind blowing through the room. Reya couldn't move her head to see what was there as the scientist groaned with pain. She didn't want to. Whatever it was would hurt her--whatever wanted the Reach would only use her, too.

It started to undo the buckles of the restraints and Reya went rigid, the scarab tightening, too. 

"Oh, God, what have they done to you?"

Reya was shaking, eyes shut tightly as it pulled the tube out of her throat while she gagged around it, saying something that she couldn't make out around her own fear.

When a hand landed softly on her face, she flinched so forcefully her neck popped.

"It's me," it said. "It's okay, you're safe now."

She opened her eyes, throat burning--and couldn't believe what she saw.

"W-Wally?" she croaked out, coughing afterward. "W-what are you doing here?"

"We came to get you," he said, helping her to her feet even though she was dead weight. "It's okay, I'll just--"

She barely stumbled for half a second before he was back, wrapping one of the Reach's blankets around her, over her body that was entirely bare except for the _thing_ and thin cloth shorts.

"I d-don't understand," she rasped, her feet dragging along the floor. "Why are you h-here?"

"Nightwing said he saw you," Wally rambled. "He said he couldn't get to you no matter how hard he tried, that they took you away in an escape pod, and we searched the ocean with Aquaman's people for days, but it was impossible to find the ship and--"

"You came for me?" she asked, something in her chest seeming to burst. "Y-you came here for me?"

"Of course, kid, we--did you think we weren't gonna find you?"

She stumbled, her legs cramping until she fell completely into his grip. "This doesn't--this isn't supposed to happen. I-I don't understand, why is this happening, why are you--"

The ship shook again and Wally helped her back to her feet. "I--we have to go," he said, sounding physically pained. "We don't know how long we can hold off Black Beetle this time."

He pulled her into a bridal-style position and she went stiff, which only made the cramps worse and her face twisted in pain. "H-He'll kill you!" she gasped. "They'll be angry if you take me, it's not worth it, leave before--"

Wind rushed past her, everything moving too fast, and in a second she was at the Bioship, still in Wally's arms. Her breath started to come out in quick, short spurts and she shook her head. "No, they'll be angry, they'll--"

"We got you, I won't let them take you again." He sat her down into a chair and she wrapped the blanket around herself instinctively. "I--"

The Bioship shook and Reya flinched, folding in on herself as she pulled her knees to her chest. "Wally, it isn't--"

Smoke filled the Bioship's hatch and the team came through, coughing as the door slammed shut. Wonder Girl had a limp to her walk as she fell into a chair tiredly.

"Go!" Nightwing yelled. " _Now!_ "

The Bioship lurched and Reya noticed Miss Martian at the controls, steering them forward. They were deep in the ocean, too dark to see anything, and it made her wonder how they even found her. Or _why_ they went to the trouble of it.

A blur of white and red was in front of her and she flinched, something the old Reya wouldn't have done. Because the old Reya didn't sit with her knees to her chest, and she didn't duck her head at someone like Wally or Bart. Not anymore.

And then Bart was hugging her and Reya just _sat there_. Was she supposed to hug him back? That didn't feel right. She'd never hugged anyone before, aside from the hugs she had to give to the Speedster family. But this was different and she didn't like it at all and _why_ was he starting to cry.

"Oh, right, you don't like hugs," he said, stepping back. "Sorry. I just--I was getting worried we wouldn't find you."

Reya looked to where Nightwing and Wally were talking at the back of the Bioship, and it was clear by the way they kept glancing at her what they were talking about. The thing hidden under the blanket, seared to her body.

"You looked for me," she said, meeting his eyes fiercely. "Why? Why did you--why did you all risk your lives for me?"

"Because--because you're family." Bart's foot was tapping rapidly and she wished it would stop. "You protected me in the future, you did what we couldn't, and I--someone had to do it for you for once, y'know?"

"No, I don't." Her breath was catching in her chest, like a shard of glass. "I don't--you're not--just stop. Stop acting like you care, Bart. I'm not protecting you anymore, no one's trying to steal your shit or kill you. You don't need to make sure I'm functioning."

"Wait, it's not like that--"

"Bart, why don't you give Reya some time to . . . to process this?" M'gann tried, smiling gently at the boy. "It's a lot to take in at once, maybe she'll want to talk later."

As he walked away Reya rubbed at her neck, as if that would soothe her aching throat. Everything hurt, and her back felt like it was made of needles, but the blanket was comfortable and her mind was too crowded to think about it.

When she pulled the blanket tighter around herself she caught Blue Beetle's eyes and his widened, a clear understanding passing between them. He knew what they had made her become, he knew what thing was attached to her like a parasite.

Reya sent him a look full of venom and turned away, eyes shut tightly, as if that might make everything a fraction better.

It didn't.


	7. Hinderance

**REYA WAS STAYING WITH THE ALLENS.** While they thought she was asleep in the Bioship, Barry came and talked with Wally and Nightwing, and it was decided she would come with him. They thought that she would be uncomfortable at the temporary HQ where the others were staying, but that it also wasn't safe for her to stay at the Garricks anymore, and that they couldn't handle her at the moment.

But sitting at dinner with Barry and Iris wasn't any more comfortable than they had imagined it would be. Her hoodie was baggy, her best attempt to hide the scarab that wrapped around her. It was as if that _thing_ had made the tension in the room worsen.

"Aren't you hungry?" Iris asked gently. "I didn't know what your favorite meal was, so . . . I made spaghetti. I hope that's alright."

"I don't have one." Reya moved the noodles around on her plate. "Unless the Reach Bars count."

Barry cleared his throat as he wiped at his mouth with a napkin. "Bart told us about that. About where you two are from. If you ever want to talk about it, we're here. Or Black Canary, that's who your friends spoke to."

She blinked, still staring down at her plate that was growing cold. "Who?"

"Bart, Blue Beetle, the team that was taken, they spoke to Black Canary. They had a therapy session with her. You can get one whenever you like--and a doctor's appointment, Bart had his a few days ago. I'm not sure when you last had one, but it might be time for one."

Her jaw tightened. "Why--I don't understand."

Iris sat down her fork. "What don't you understand honey?"

"I'm here because you're scared of the scarab," she stated. "That's why I can't go to the Garricks or to the HQ. But you--you want me to . . . go to 'therapy'? I don't--it doesn't make sense. You're not trying to get information, you haven't interrogated or tortured me yet but you--you're not making any sense. I don't _understand_."

It was silent, the couple staring at each other until Iris spoke first. "...Reya, you do understand we wouldn't hurt you, right? We wouldn't--we would _never_ torture you. We would never torture anyone."

Reya frowned, still staring at the plate. "Then why am I here? You can send me somewhere--a cell, a prison--and you haven't. I don't understand why you would risk me living in your house. It doesn't make any sense."

"Because we care about you," Iris said. "Reya, honey, we care about what happens to you. All of us were worried sick when you were gone, the Garricks couldn't sleep for days. We'd never send you to jail, you haven't done anything wrong."

She couldn't breathe fast enough. "But it doesn't make _sense_. I'm not blood and I-I'm not on the team. I'm not your friend or anyone's friend, I'm not protecting you or offering you anything, you have no reason to keep me here, I can't even give you scraps or money for feeding me and--"

"Bart's your friend," Iris said. "He said he wouldn't have survived the future without you."

"Yes, because I was protecting him. That was the deal. People were scared of me, and I could fight them. I protected their things and them and I scavenged and brought food. That was why they kept me. But you--I'm not doing anything for you. I can't fight for you, or scavenge, and you don't seem to want anything else. And I don't _understand_ it doesn't make any sense."

It was silent, and she could practically hear Barry's sharp intake of breath. She didn't understand, she never understood what these people wanted.

"Reya," Iris gently said, outstretching her palm on the table. "Is that why you don't like people touching you? Did you--did you have any family?"

"My parents died, that's all I knew," she said, eyebrows pinched together. "I got moved from camp to camp, under Reach care until I was six. I don't know if I had any family, but I don't think they lived long. No one did unless they were strong enough."

"Any friends?" Iris asked. She sounded . . . _desperate,_ like she couldn't believe Reya's words. "Did you have anyone?"

"I had--I had some people. I did something for them or they used me. That's how it works. If you have something to offer, you stay."

"Reya, you don't have to offer us anything," Iris said, sounding stricken. "You don't have to offer anyone anything anymore. You can--you be a kid now. Do whatever you want to."

She took in a mouthful of cold noodles. "I'm not a kid."

That was the end of the conversation. It was clear that no matter what they said, Reya wouldn't understand. Because she didn't want to. She was starting to, and it was terrifying, because those things weren't supposed to happen to her.

_* * *_

_**THE LAST TIME**_ Reya had been to a doctor, she had a chip put into her neck. But Iris had given her a lollipop that tasted like "watermelon," so Reya guessed that made this one okay. They had assured her that they would be right outside the door, that if she wanted it to stop, it was over and they'd go home.

Except Reya didn't have a home. At least not in that time. Hers was the ash fields, in the little nook under the rubble of Mount Justice where she hid her things, where metal poked at her back like knives.

"I'm Doctor Russell," the woman greeted. She was short, barely five feet tall, with dark skin and braids tied into a tight bun. "You can call me Callie, if you like. I'm a doctor that works specifically with heroes, what is now called 'meta-humans,' people with powers, and anything similar. I even treat the speedsters."

Reya only nodded slightly to acknowledge that she'd heard the woman.

"So, I'm going to ask you a few questions. These are for health and to know other things about your life since we know nothing of it. If you're uncomfortable at any time or don't know the answer, we can stop."

Another nod.

"How old are you? Your birthday?"

"Thirteen," she answered. "I think. And . . . I don't know, winter, I think. Maybe."

"Alright." She scribbled down something onto the paper on her clipboard. "Have you had any serious injuries?"

"How serious is serious?"

"Anything that might have been internal, or broken bones."

Reya began chewing on the lollipop. "I've been stabbed . . . a lot, mostly by metal, I think. I got a blood infection from one of those once. And I've been shot . . . once, I think? Yeah, once. But it was in the leg, they were a bad shot. And I know for sure I broke something in my leg from that, and I hurt my wrist once, it was purple until some old man fixed it."

Callie nodded, but she seemed slightly unnerved. "And did any of those cause lasting injuries?"

"I don't think so. My wrist aches sometimes, and it's not as strong as the other one, but it's fine. And sometimes my leg hurts, but not like when I was shot."

"That's not great, but considering what you've been through, it's incredible you didn't have worse." She sat down in a chair that rolled. "Do you know if you have any allergies?"

"No. I don't think so. Maybe."

As she wrote something down Reya swung her feet while she sat on the table. 

"Can you read?"

"Excuse me?"

"Can you read?" Callie asked. "It's alright if you can't, but these are questions we ask with children that . . . have slightly similar cases to yours. We need to know the level of education they have."

"I can, but it's not--I'm not good at it. It doesn't make sense."

"Doesn't make sense how?"

"It's like . . . like the letters _switch_. And sometimes I see ones that aren't there. I'm not good at reading. I don't know why."

"It seems like you might have dyslexia," Callie said. "You'll have to have testing to make sure, but that might be the case. It's perfectly normal, it affects a lot of people. Even I have it."

It was comforting to know that she wasn't stupid, but she didn't quite believe the woman. Everyone always told her she was stupid for not being able to read the labels.

"Do you know what level of education you had?"

Reya blinked, crunching down hard on the lollipop. "I can read. And do math. They taught me how to do a lot of math, but that's all. Education wasn't important."

"I'm sorry to ask this, but it's a necessary one. Have you recently, or ever, been sexually active?"

She went still, a deep, awful feeling settling within her that made her stomach churn. "Why--why does that matter?"

"To know if any diseases might have been transmitted, and to make sure nothing is damaged."

" _Diseases?_ " Reya whispered in horror, her eyes quickly becoming wet. "They could have given me a d-disease?"

"Reya, it's alright, just breathe," Callie said, her voice painfully soothing as she walked over to her. "It's alright. We can run some tests, make sure everything's okay, don't worry."

Reya didn't know she could have a _disease_. Every time she thought about what happened she nearly threw up, and now it was awful, because she could be dying, or worse.

She let the doctor take her toward the back.

_* * *_

_**REYA SAT IN**_ one of the waiting room chairs as Callie talked to the Allens. They were too far to hear, but--

"Reya doesn't have a high education, fourth grade at most, and that's only considering math. It doesn't seem like she had any form of ordered education."

How was she hearing this? They were all the way across the hall, it was physically impossible to hear them as they whispered. 

"Do we need to enroll her in school?" Barry asked. "Jay's been talking about enrolling Bart in an online school in a few months once everything cools down. Should we start looking into that?"

"Oh no, no, no, no," Callie quickly said. "She'd have to have a special form of schooling, somewhere where she can start at a low level. But even then, I don't think she's ready for that."

"What do you mean?" Iris asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Reya is . . . a peculiar case. I haven't seen it in someone her age. She's--she's detached from ties. From what she told me, she's never had anything like a family, and she doesn't understand what one really is. She doesn't understand friends or family, at least not in the way we do. She isn't developed socially."

"Is that why she's so nervous around everyone?" Iris took a deep breath. "I _knew_ something was different about her and Bart. She was always so skittish, and the first time one of us hugged her--god, everything makes sense now."

"That and--well, I asked Reya to make sure it was okay to tell you two this, and she's alright with it. But it seems that she experienced some form of sexual trauma when she was younger. She didn't want to talk about it, but it's clear that's why she's 'skittish' around men. I'd advise that as soon as you can--or as soon as she'll let you--begin speaking with Ms. Lance or someone else. Reya doesn't seem to--"

She stopped listening, tired of hearing what they had to say. Instead, she looked around the empty waiting room and turned her head down so her hair covered her face. "I know you're in there. I don't know what you are, but you're alive."

One of the scarab's legs flexed against her rib cage.

"Fine, be that way. But if you do anything stupid, I'm ripping you out myself."

The scarab did not move that time.


	8. Supes

**"ARE YOU SURE SHE SHOULD BE HERE?"**

Bart glared at Arsenal. "Duh! She's one of us."

"She just got rescued from that Reach ship a few weeks ago," Arsenal said. "And I'm pretty sure I saw her shoplift when we met up at that store."

Reya licked the lollipop that she most definitely could not afford. The two kept bickering back and forth, and even though the topic was about her tagging along on the mission she wasn't green-lit to go on, she didn't interject. She didn't really care what Arsenal thought, or what any of them thought. They were going to gather information about the Reach--Reya was going with them, whether they liked it or not.

"Can she even do anything?" Arsenal scoffed. "I mean, look at her--she's barely five foot, one-fifteen soaking wet at best. She'll just slow up down."

She crunched down on the lollipop, a burst of cherry exploding in her mouth. "And what's so special about you? You're only four years older than me, probably not even 5'10, and look like you're about to kill over--suck it up, I'm coming."

"Can you even fight?"

"I stabbed Tuppence Terror in the eye with a nearly identical lollipop stick," she stated, pointing the little white stick at him. "I can handle myself."

"Yeah, she's fought, like, everyone back in our time," Bart added, arms crossed. "She's a total badass." Reya blinked at him. "That's a compliment!"

When everyone but Reya looked to Robin for approval since he was the leader of the mission, it was clear his eyes were wide under his sunglasses. "I--Nightwing's gonna kill me for this, but I don't think Reya would listen if I told her to leave. And, plus, she knows more about the Reach than any of us. She might be able to help."

Arsenal groaned deep in his throat as they boarded the tram. " _Fine_. But if you get yourself into trouble, I'm not helping you."

"I'll watch you bleed out before I lift a finger."

"Dude, so not cool," Bart whispered as he elbowed her in the side once they took their seat. His elbow hit home right on the scarab's legs wrapped around her ribcage. "Woah--what was that? Are you wearing body armor or something?"

"It's nothing, Allen," she hissed, scooting farther down the seat from him. "Mind your business."

She knew, rationally, she was expected to be nicer to him. She was still getting used to how she was supposed to act in the past and she was _trying,_ dammit. But it wasn't as if she could flip a switch and suddenly forget everything, forget what people had done to her--forget who she was. She couldn't do it as easily as Bart could, and she couldn't pretend as easily as he did.

Reya had gotten used to sitting with the scarab. She had seen Jaime shirtless, she had seen his scarab, how it was larger and only attached to his spine, its small blue legs pinching down into his skin. Hers was different. It was a dark red, smaller, with thin, sturdy legs that wrapped around her ribcage until they tapered off into fine points. Jaime's didn't seem to move, but Reya's did, it flexed its legs around her sometimes, or twitched. Jaime's scarab spoke to him, hers didn't.

Maybe it was because Reya's was newer than his--she wasn't sure, but it didn't comfort her knowing that hers seemed worse than Blue Beetle's.

"You remember the plan, right?" Bart whispered, scooting closer to her so only they could hear.

She moved farther away so their shoulders weren't touching, but still close enough that she could whisper. "Of course I remember. Hide in the bathroom until it's closed, steal shit, get information, and leave."

"Well . . . pretty much, yeah." He blinked in surprise when she threw her lollipop stick off the tram. "Oh, c'mon! You can't litter anymore, it's illegal."

"What are they gonna do, arrest a thirteen-year-old for littering?" she huffed. "I'll kill them."

"Yeah, no, that's not the right response at all, I'm pretty sure just saying that is a crime--"

"Disaster Twins," Jaime hissed. "Let's go, and stop arguing, it's annoying."

Reya hopped off the tram as it came to a stop. "Well then don't listen if it's that annoying. Use your beetle senses and tune it out or something." 

"It doesn't work like that--"

A pale brunette woman was smiling brightly, ushering people alone off the tram and into the large building where the plants were. Reya scowled. "A tour? Oh, you've gotta be kidding me."

"Didn't Bart tell you? You have to go on the tour until we get halfway into the place."

"No, he did _not_ tell me." The spinless speedster was hurrying ahead, rushing into the crowd to avoid her wrath. " _Bastard_."

"Jeez, you're scary for a kid."

"You're three years older than me."

"Oh. Point taken."

"Yeah." She walked forward, following behind the others. "I--I have a question, and if you tell anyone, I swear I'll kill you before you can even blink."

Jaime gulped nervously. "R-Right, got it."

"Your scarab, did it . . . did it talk to you from the start?" she whispered, the words tumbling out of her mouth. "Did it always talk?"

"I--not from the start, he was . . . it's weird to explain. I think he was scared? He didn't trust me. I don't know, he doesn't say anything besides how to attack people." He shrugged. "Why?"

"No reason." She folded her arms around herself, around her ribcage. 

There was a beat of silence between them as the tour guide droned on about the plans and the 'nutrients' of it all.

"Holy shit," he whispered. He grabbed her arm and Reya jerked it away, careful to not draw attention to them as she glared at him. "You have a scarab. I--I thought scarab was lying, but . . . you actually have one."

"Shut _up,_ " she hissed, keeping a steady pace a few feet behind the group. "If you tell anyone, you're dead. And not even your stupid scarab'll save you."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" he whispered, harsh. "I could've helped you or _something_. You can't just have this--this scarab on your back and not do anything about it."

"You think I haven't thought of that?" she bit back. "This thing isn't coming off, and it's--it's different than yours. Newer. It doesn't even fuckin' speak. There's nothing I can do, and I'm not gonna let you touch it."

"I'm not him," he said. "Blue Beetle--whatever I was in the future, that wasn't me, I was on mode." He was desperate, he wanted her to believe him so bad. "You know that wasn't me."

"I don't know you, Jaime. I--asking you that was stupid, alright? We're not friends, and we never will be. You'll probably kill all of us in a few months anyway."

When she walked ahead to join the rest of the group, a small part of her knew that was considered rude, but she didn't exactly give a shit. Part of her also knew that she was supposed to be nicer to Bart, since according to Iris and Barry he considered her a friend--whatever that meant--and because he had told her they were going, something he didn't have to do.

But Reya wasn't nice, everyone knew that. She didn't have to change just because the time did.

Everything was so _stupid_. And that lady wouldn't stop talking, her voice was too loud, too cheery, and Reya just wanted to punch her in the face and break--

"Time for a bathroom break."

Bart grabbed a fruit as their small group stopped. "Actually, I went before we left, so--"

Robin grabbed him by the elbow, jerking him toward the bathrooms. Reya followed behind the others, hands tucked into her jacket pockets, fiddling with the wrapper of her lollipop a bit too noisily.

When she went to follow in behind them Bart's eyes went wide and he stopped her. " _Woah_ \--you can't come in here, it's the _guy's_ bathroom. See?"

She blinked, staring blank-faced at him. "Bart, you've literally bled out on me. But me going in the guy's bathroom is a stretch?"

"Point taken."

Robin pinched the bridge of his nose, ushering them inside. "Fine, fine--just don't do anything stupid."

Thankfully, no one was in the bathroom, and they had enough stalls to themselves to all fit inside. Reya sat on the seat, tucking her feet underneath her so she couldn't be seen outside the stall, and began to fold the lollipop wrapper into delicate shapes.

It would be a long, long five hours.

_* * *_

_**AT TEN BART**_ started to get antsy. He kept tapping his foot, whistling, anything to satisfy his boredom. It was driving Reya insane.

He groaned abruptly, making Reya jerk and nearly rip the paper. "Can we _please_ start the mission now?"

"Fine," Robin sighed. "Yes, go."

When Reya stepped out of her stall everyone was in their suits--something she did not have--and Robin's was darker than before. She was wearing leggings and a loose tank-top, her jacket tied around her waist. It made mobility easier, even if it didn't quite look like their suits. Plus, she wasn't a hero. She didn't have a suit.

"You're in the wrong mode," Robin said.

"Dude, I crash _all_ modes."

"Stealth mode, _hermano_."

"Oh, right." He started poking around his chest, trying to find the pressure point. "Now where exactly did I . . ."

Jaime elbowed him sharply in the chest, making Bart stumble back a step as his suit turned black. " _Ow!_ " he gasped. "Thanks?"

"Shouldn't she . . . cover up?"

Reya's eyes narrowed at Arsenal. "Oh, this is scandalous, but Bart's skin-tight suit isn't?"

"No, I just meant--" His lips formed a thin, frustrated line. "You're not wearing a disguise at all. They'll know who you are."

"And? I'm from the future, I don't exist here. There's nothing to find."

The conversation died there and they made their way out silently, toward a computer that Robin quickly started working his magic on. Reya didn't understand how he did it, she could barely understand how to turn the damn things on, much less make them holographic. She didn't ask what he was doing, she wasn't sure if it would make sense to her even if he explained it, and they didn't have time for that. Arsenal fires a few arrows from his arm at the arrows and that's it.

Robin gives a nod, and she guesses that means they disabled the cameras or something of the sort, because they're hurrying forward toward a hatch in a raised up section of the floor with caution tape sealed onto the door.

She sucked in a breath as everyone went down into it, leaving only her and Bart. It felt like her heart was pounding in her head, her skin hot and unbearably itchy, she couldn't breathe, why couldn't she fucking _breathe_ \--

" _Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah_ \--you okay?" Bart asked, his voice coming out nearly too fast to understand. "Oh my god, are you shot or something? You're not bleeding--is it your leg, is it cramping again?"

"Hatch," she gasped out. "The _h-hatch_ , the hatch, I can't go through the hatch, I-I can't--"

"Woah, it's okay, you don't have to go through the hatch if you want to, no one's making you." He whispered something to someone but she couldn't hear it over her heart pounding in her ears. "Okay, we're gonna stay up here, they're gonna go down. We'll watch out and make sure no one comes in behind them."

She nodded jerkily, only half-hearing his words, following behind him as they ducked behind a row of thick green plants. She couldn't stop panicking, she knew it wasn't real, that he wasn't here, but she couldn't fucking stop, she couldn't breathe, there was a hatch and he was going to take her and oh god--

"Shit, Reya," he whispered, shaking her shoulder. "C'mon, say something, you're _really_ freaking me out here."

She pulled her knees to her chest, her eyes burning as she slowly started to get air back into her lungs. It felt like she was breathing in fire, like her lungs were too scarred to handle anything more. Had the ash damaged her lungs? Oh god, was she dying? She wasn't scared of dying, she was terrified of finding out what came after--heaven, hell? Heaven seemed too good to be true, and if it did exist, she wouldn't be making it there. What if she was already there? What if--

Something pinched her arm and she gasped, jerking harshly as she grabbed someone, pointer finger and thing digging into the sides of their throat, prepared to find the little bone-like thing that made people choke and drop like flies.

"I-It's me!"

 _Bart_. Dammit, it was Bart. Of course it was. Of course it was Bart, she had came here with him and the others on his team, they were in the past, she was fine.

She let go of him and he let out a sigh of relief, rubbing at his neck. "Dang, you sure know the pressure points.

"The what?" Her eyebrows crinkled together. "Those are just the spots that make people pass out."

"Exactly--nevermind." He ruffled his hair until it looked neater. "So, Jedi, what's up?"

"...Jedi?"

"It's something Wally showed me," he explained. "It's a movie series. It's about people in space, and they have these powers, like telikenisis--the thing that Miss Martian has that makes things move--and they have these super cool things called _lightsabers_. They're these, like, super hot stick-things like swords, they can cut right through walls, it's great."

She liked hearing him talk about 'Jedi.' "But why am I Jedi?"

"Well, Jedi are a group of people. It's . . . like a religion, kind of. They all have the same powers and beliefs, so they're just called 'Jedi.' But you're like them because they have this rule against deep posessive personal attachments--something about their powers, I think?--and that's what you always said. 'I'll keep you alive, but we're not friends.'" He shrugged, seeming a bit hurt at the last part. "And they're really, really badass. There's this one girl--Ahsoka--from a cartoon, and she reminds me a lot of you. She's your age, and really good with lightsabers. It's kinda like when you killed those guys with the metal pipe."

Reya nodded. "Well . . . okay. She seems alright."

"But, seriously. What happened? You saw that hatch and freaked out."

She picked at the skin beside her nail. "Oh. _That_." Her skin started to itch. "It--I don't like hatches. Something bad happened in one and I . . . I 'freaked out' when I saw it. I don't know why. It won't happen again."

"Dude, it's okay, that stuff happens."

"No, it _doesn't_. It's stupid, because it'll get you killed, and--"

"We're not there anymore," Bart said, his voice firm and unwavering--something she had rarely heard him do. "We can still die here but it's--it's different. We're safe now."

He might be, but she wasn't. She had a scarab attached to her.

"Hey, Wally wanted me to ask you something," he whispered. "He, uh, wanted to know if you wanted to come over to the Garricks this weekend. He hasn't seen you since--y'know--and . . . yeah. You don't have to come if you don't want to, but--"

"Wait, what?" She blinked in confusion. "Bart, slow down."

"Wally wants to know if you wanna come over to the Garricks this weekend, he hasn't seen you in a while."

"Oh." Wally wanted to see her? Why? And why after he saw what she had become? "...Sure."

"Cool--oh, make sure to tell B and I that you're coming."

"Um, sure."

She wasn't sure why she had to tell them that, and she probably wouldn't tell them anyway, but she said it to make him stop talking.

Robin appeared a foot away from them, as silent as ever, and Blue Beetle and Arsenal came soon after, significantly less quiet. They didn't ask what happened, but Arsenal's gaze lingered on her for too long and it took an immense amount of self-control not to break something of his.

Robin held up an air-tight bag with a small pink-like crystal in it. It made Reya's breath hitch. "Do you know what this is?"

"It's--I'm not sure. They called it a . . . a . . ." She said the word in the Reach's language, and it came out a bit differently than they would say it, but it was close enough. "They put it into everything I ate. I think it--it enhances you, somehow. They did it before they knew I didn't have a meta-gene."

"Of course," he whispered. "Sifting through to see who actually has it."

"The Culling," Bart and Reya whispered simultaneously. They looked at each other, their stomachs forming into pits as realization set in. 

"Culling?" Jaime said. "What's that?"

"It's--it's the first stage," Reya said. "It became a scary story by the time we were born, there weren't many people left from that time so it just . . . mutated. But they found out who the meta-humans were, and once they got them, they started to kill everyone else until they sent them to labor camps. The Culling was the first part of their invasion."

Robin cursed under his breath. "Alright, we got what we came for. Let's go."

Reya hurried along behind them, barely making a sound, until they reached the nearest exit. They peered around a row of plants where two guards were waiting at the door.

"Two guards, one door hack, and we're home free," Robin said.

Arsenal smirked. "Wait for it."

Reya's shoulder rammed into the metal shelving behind her when something exploded. Alarms sounded as the building shook, rows of plants starting to fall over like dominos.

"You blew the lab?" Robin yelled. "This was a covert op! What were you thinking?!"

"That I'm not about to let Lex Luthor and his alien space buddies poison the world just because we don't know exactly what poison they're using," Arsenal said. "Plus, I enjoy making Lex miserable."

Robin flicked his hand and Bart sped forward, quick as a bullet, toward the guards.

Reya punched Arsenal square in the cheek, ignoring his startled yelp as she shoved him into the shelving. " _What the fuck is wrong with you?!_ " she yelled. "Now they know we know about it! I can't believe you!"

She punched him in the face again and Robin pulled her off. She writhed in his arms, biting his padded forearm to get herself free.

"Ow, what the hell, Reya!"

"This--this _idiot_ just ruined everything!" she yelled. "This was our one fucking chance, Arsenal!"

Suddenly her spine stiffened, her shoulders set straight, and she whirled around, one hand going to the base of her elbow while her other arm stretched out firmly, armor forming from her ribcage to her fingertips--and then something formed at the end of her hand and fired at the thing in the air.

 _Black Beetle_.

She didn't have time to think about what the hell happened, how the scarab did that, she could only stand in horror as Black Beetle barely winced at the blow. She ignored the yelling from everyone at the fact that she had done that as she ran, hiding behind a row of plants. It was cowardly, but she was no match for Black Beetle. None of them were.

God, he was going to take her again, they were going to die, oh god they were gonna put her on mode--

She was a coward, she was useless, but she didn't care. She just didn't want to get taken again.

Another explosion sounded and someone was pulling on her arm. _Robin_.

"Let's go, come on!"

She ran behind him, out threw a hole the explosion made in the wall, too terrified to ask where Black Beetle was. She ran straight into a cornfield, fear coursing through her veins, the scarab's legs almost _nervously_ digging into her sides--

Reya could only slide onto her knees to stop herself as Black Beetle appeared in the opening behind one of the cornfields. He was only feet from her, just like she remembered, oh god, he was going to take her, she was going to become a beetle and--

Bart shook her out of her daze and she grabbed the knife out of her jacket pocket. The five of them formed close together and--holy shit, there was a Green Beetle behind them. When did it get there? Since when had there been another one?

Reya braced herself as the two Beetles drew their weapons, and then--Green Beetle attacked Black and the two went sprawling yards away, too far away to hear their conversation ...Green wasn't attacking them.

"Who is this guy?" Jaime said. "What is he?"

 _Martian,_ a voice in Reya's head said. It was slightly robotic, almost feminine, yet not at the same time. _Leave now, Reya Montoya_.

"It's Martian," she quickly said, her heart pounding in her chest. The scarab could talk? "We have to go, right now."

Why was she trusting it? 

"How do you know that?" Jaime said.

"I--the scarab told me."

An uproar of confusion came from the other three, but she ignored it. She didn't have any answers for them, anyway. 

Plasma cannons formed out of Black's back, blasting Green back into the cornfield that was quickly bursting into flames. Everyone looked at each other, nodded, like they were having a conversation in their heads that she wasn't a part of--

They ran off, Arsenal and Robin to Black, Bart in a whirlwind around the fire, Blue to the air--and Reya stood, knife clenched in her hand, at a loss. Robin placed an explosive on Black, but it had little effect, and he turned to her, an awfully familiar smirk on his face as he approached her.

"Little Beetle," he said. "You cannot hide from this, it is what you were made for. Come back with me, and you can rule this world with me when we take over. No one will ever look down on you like they do now."

Blue's plasma cannon fired at his back and Black only laughed as he continued forward. "See? So weak, you're _stronger_ than Blue Beetle. You could beat him if you join me."

Another plasma cannon fired at his back--Green's--and he wailed in pain, eyes wide with unusual fear as he fell to his knees, hands clutching his chest. His armor began to chip away to show the green skin beneath, his body twisted in pain until he finally fell face-forward and the cannons were gone.

With her knife gripped tight in her hand, she walked forward and knelt down in the dirt beside him. The armor on the back of his head was gone, a perfect place to--

"Reya, no!" Bart appeared out of thin air and grabbed her arm. "Stop! You can't just--you can't kill him!"

"He's a _Beetle,_ " she hissed.

"And apparently you're one too."

Her lip twitched in a way that was uncannily the move of a predator on the verge. "I could kill you."

"You could." He put his hand on her shaking wrist. "But you don't want to, I know you don't."

"You don't know shit, Supe."

"I know you could've already killed me three times by now, but you haven't. Come on, let's just go."

Her lip twitched again, and she wanted to, but she wouldn't. "Fuck you, Supe. I'll find my own way back."

No one tried to stop her.

_* * *_

_**"REYA, OH MY**_ god, where have you been!"

She blinked at Iris, uncomfortable at how upset the woman was. "I went out."

"Is that a cut on your face? Why are your pants dirty?" Iris shook her head and called out for her husband. "Reya, it's been _hours_."

"...Yes?" She couldn't quite meet the woman's eyes, she didn't like this. "I went out. Ran into some trouble."

Barry sped into the room, relief quickly washing over him when he saw Reya sitting on the floor of "her" room. "The Garricks told us about everything--god, kid, what were you thinking? You could've been killed!"

"I'm fine, I can protect myself. It was mostly just waiting around."

"Black Beetle attacked!" he said. "And there's a new Beetle! How--how could you just leave without telling us? And on a mission that you weren't supposed to be on?"

"Bart told me about it so I went." She picked at the scab beside her nail. "I planned on coming back."

"You better have." Barry cut himself off, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Reya, you can't just . . . you have to tell us when you leave, you know that."

She didn't like how angry they were. She didn't mean to make them upset, she didn't know what she did--but of course she made them upset. Of course. It was only a matter of time.

"I didn't--I didn't know I had to do that," she said, her voice just slightly above a whisper. "I'm--I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Barry let out a pained sound as he made his way over to her. When he bent down beside her she flinched and his eyes went wide. "I--Reya, we're not mad. I mean, we _are_ , but it's okay. You didn't know. It was an accident."

"Okay. I won't do it again."

"I--alright. It's late, but you haven't eaten anything today. Just let us know when you're hungry, okay? We ordered pizza earlier, it's in the fridge."

"Okay."

When the door shut behind them, Reya took the knife out from under her pillow and clenched it tight in her hand, the familiar feeling comforting beyond reason. It reminded her of simpler times, where she didn't have to worry about feelings or people's feelings or anything--her only worry was if her knife was sharp enough, if her fists were durable enough. 

The scarab's legs flexed around her sides, and for once, Reya didn't yell at it.


	9. Stick Around

"DO YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK?"

Reya shook her head. "Not like people can now."

Joan just smiled. "Well, I'll teach you. My mother taught me, said it was a woman's thing to do. I don't believe that, Jay's just as good of a cook as I am, but I like cooking. It's calming. Maybe it'll calm you, too."

"I don't need to be calm."

"I know. But maybe you'll like it, hm?"

Reya worked her jaw but didn't say a word. She liked Joan, she was nice, but _that was just it_. She was nice and Reya was tired of nice. She was ready for someone to snap, for someone to yank the rug out from under her and _finally_ do something. Yell, attack, _something_.

Anything was better than them being nice. Than them resting soft, calloused hands on her bony shoulders like it was nothing. Anything was better than them being so effortlessly comforting. They were making her guard slip and she had to fight against herself to put that wall back up, to protect herself from the inevitable. When they'd scrape her off their shoes like what she really was. _Nothing_.

Her nose scrunched as the scent of something hit her. Strong and almost acidic smelling. "...Acid?"

Joan blinked in surprise. "It's orange juice. Did you not have orange juice?"

Reya scowled. "No. What's an orange?"

"It's a fruit, do you wanna try one?"

She eyed her skeptically as she held out a round fruit, like the woman would rip it away at the last moment. "Are you sure?"

"'Course, we got a bunch of them. This one's all yours."

Reya took the fruit, slightly taken aback by how it felt. She inspected it while Joan continued to cook, standing at the kitchen island as she turned the fruit around in her hands, getting used to the strange texture and the way it was firm yet not all at the same time. She pressed her fingernail into it and juice leaked out onto her finger, making her eyes widen as she nearly dropped it.

Carefully she peeled back the skin of it, eating it as she did. The skin tasted awful, why did people eat it? She wasn't sure, but she couldn't complain, it still tasted better than most of the food she had in her time.

She stopped eating the skin once she saw the fruit. Her eyes narrowed curiously as she peeled the rest of it, fingers working until there was nothing but the fruit itself left. She managed to peel a piece off and _oh_. The outside was slightly white but the inside was orange and dripped juice down her fingers. It was strange but she liked it.

That quickly stopped once she took a bite of it. Her face scrunched into a grimace. It tasted good but _too_ good. It was too sweet, too tangy, too much all at once. She wasn't used to that strong of a flavor, she didn't like it at all.

She sat the orange down on the island and made her way into the living room where Jay and Bart were, watching a sport called football. She didn't understand it but she liked it, it was gritty and from what she could tell the point of the game was to try to incapacitate the other players.

"Come here 'n sit, kid," Jay said. "It's almost over, the Supes are winning."

Bart noticed her confusion. "It's a team, they named it after the heroes. Here it's actually a _nice_ word."

She scowled at the jab but sat anyway. She was in an armchair two feet from the couch where Jay and Bart sat. Wally hadn't arrived yet, somehow always managing to run late despite being able to run several hundred miles a minute. It was just going to be the five of them, Barry and Iris wanted to "have a date night." Reya didn't understand the appeal but she didn't question it.

They had also told her to be careful. No fighting, no villains, normal kid stuff. She wasn't a kid--she never had been--but she'd listen to them. She didn't want to make them upset again.

 _Calm down,_ the scarab said. _You are going to have an attack soon._

She glanced at Jay as if to say 'I'm going' and hurried to the bathroom. She locked the door and turned the fan on just in case someone tried to listen.

"What do you mean attack?" she questioned. "What are you trying to do?"

 _I am not doing anything,_ it insisted. _Your body has been building toward it since your encounter with the Reach._

"I--what are you talking about? Are you about to put me on mode? I swear I'll take us both out you piece of shi--"

 _Humans call it 'PTSD,'_ scarab said. _When traumatic events linger and hinder with everyday tasks. Sometimes they build frustration and anger over things that happen until you have an attack and 'lash out' as humans say._

She scoffed, shaking her head. "Bullshit. You messed me up, didn't you? You gave me--gave me whatever that is."

_It is a psychological condition. It cannot be given. You have had it for years, Reya Montoya._

"No, I haven't, you don't know what you're talking about." Her skin prickled with heat so intense that it felt like ants. "You--you don't know what you're talking about. I'm _fine_. Nothing's wrong with me."

_PTSD does not indicate something is wrong with the host, it's a response to trauma that is too difficult for one to process--_

"Nothing bad happened to me," she hissed. "Okay? Nothing bad happened to me. That's just how things were then, how things _are_. It happens to everyone. Maybe if you were there you'd understand."

I have access to your memories. I can see differently from you, Reya Montoya.

"Hey, guess what scarab? Shut the fuck up. You're _nothing_. You're a bug and I'll crush you just like I crushed everyone."

Scarab didn't respond and she felt a bit of satisfaction. Fuck that thing, she didn't want it or need it. It didn't know what it was talking about, she was fine. It and the Allens were completely wrong, she was _fine_. Things just happened and sometimes things reminded her of what happened. What was so wrong with that?

Her chest ached like someone drove a knife through it but she ignored it, took a deep breath, and left the bathroom back toward the kitchen.

"Reya! Oh my gosh, have you gotten taller? You've gotten taller, haven't you?"

She blinked at Wally. "I don't know, I don't have a ruler."

He choked on a laugh. "Yeah, you're right. And--I brought these for you. Thought you might want them."

It was just the two of them in the hallway when he pulled out the earbuds. The same ones from when they took the trip to the mall. For some reason the ache in her chest lessened at the sight of them. She took them and stuffed them into her jacket pocket.

"Maybe we'll get you a phone one day so you can actually use them."

She shrugged. "I don't have anyone to call, so."

"There's me, Bart, the Garricks, the Allens." He grinned. "Maybe you could get some freedom if you could tell people where you were going?"

"Maybe." She fiddled with the earbuds in her pocket. "Have you--have you tried oranges?"

"Oranges?" he said, slightly caught off guard. "Yeah. Why?"

"I just tried one and, I don't know, I was wondering if you had."

"They're good, right?"

"They're really . . . strong."

"Yeah," he laughed. "I'll bet you're a pear girl. Tell Barry 'n Iris to get you some. They're good and not overly sweet."

She didn't know what a pear was but she made a mental note to grab one at the store she passed on the way to the Allens. She wondered what they looked like.

"Jay!" Joan called from the kitchen. "Can you run to the store? I'm out of ground beef and sauce and--oh, we're out of butter too."

Reya followed Wally as he left the hallway. "I'll go," he said. "We both know Jay isn't getting off the couch as long as the game's still on."

Joan smiled. "You're right. Make sure to get the Hunt's sauce, alright? The big can. And don't get a small thing of ground beef, or the organic kind--"

"I got it." He gave her a lopsided smile. "Can I borrow your keys?"

She pointed a stern finger at him as she handed them over. "Be _careful_."

"I will, promise." He glanced at Reya. "You wanna come? It's just down the street. And we can get you that pear, too."

She shrugged. "Okay."

He smiled. "Enthusiastic answer, let's go!"

Bart was too glued to the TV to ask if he wanted to go, which left only them, Wally speeding down the road, taking the turns slightly too fast. Reya wasn't sure if that was how you were supposed to drive but she didn't mind it.

They were at the store in less than two minutes. It was called Publix and Wally told her through a laugh that, no, it was not pronounced _Poo-blix_.

When they got in Reya was once again caught off guard by the sheer size of everything. Too many options over something so simple as food. Why were there twenty different kinds of the same flavor of chips? Or an entire aisle dedicated to sliced bread?

Reya had a large can of tomato sauce in hand by the time they reached the ground beef, only to find that there was nothing left but organic. The thing that Joan specifically told them not to buy.

"It can't hurt to be a little healthy, right?" Wally asked. Reya didn't take his side.

They managed to find an aisle that only had two people with a few items in front of them. Reya inspected the magazines, flipping through them with curious interest. There were two that featured Bruce Wayne which nearly made her laugh since she knew who he really was. One with Dick in the back of the magazine as the answer to a crossword puzzle and one with an article about Barry's latest suit change. _Maroon or Crimson?_ it read, as if there was a difference.

Wally grabbed a drink called Fanta from the small refrigerator by the magazines and sat it on the conveyor belt. "You want one, Rey?"

She didn't comment on the nickname and instead grabbed a large interesting-looking can from the refrigerator. It had a cool 'M' on the front and was flavored watermelon, which she hadn't had before.

Wally bit back a laugh. "God, they're gonna chew my ass out for letting you get that."

"Is it dangerous?"

"Uh, kind of? It's not great for you, it's an energy drink."

At the word 'energy' Reya sat the drink down on the conveyor belt which made him laugh.

The two walked out toward the car, Wally carrying all the bags and Reya carrying the drinks. He glanced at her expectantly as they drove down the road. "C'mon," he said. "You gotta try it. It's good. And you probably shouldn't drink it around the Garricks."

She popped the tab open, tensing as it let out a sharp noise, carbonation hissing out. She hesitantly took a sip, eyes widening as her lips puckered. It was . . . _something_.

"Good?" he laughed.

"It . . . tastes."

He sputtered out a laugh. "Yeah, it sure does. I knew you wouldn't like it, but everyone has to try a Monster at some point. Oh! And you wanted to try a pear, right?"

"Um . . ."

"Here, try it," he said, pulling out a strange-shaped green fruit from a filmy bag. "It's good. Wait, no, don't bite into it, that's, like, the worst way to eat one."

She blinked. "...Then how do you eat it?"

"Slice it," he said. "Here, lemme just--"

The car jerked as he dug his hand into his pocket and Reya's eyes widened as he went over the curb. "Haha, whoops. Here y'go."

She stared at the knife once he flicked it open. A pocket knife, she'd had one before. They weren't too reliable but Wally's seemed sturdy. She took it and stuck it into the pear, shimmying it through until a large chunk came out.

The taste of the drink was still in her mouth and she wanted anything to drown it out.

With an encouraging glance from Wally she took a bite of the pear and-- _woah_. The texture was a bit weird, gritty like ash, but in a good way. It was sweet but not too sweet. And, best of all: the skin didn't taste bad.

"Good, right?"

"Good," she nodded, taking another bite. "This is a pear?"

"Yep."

"Hm." She didn't bother cutting the rest of it and bit into it, something that made Wally squirm. "It's nice."

"See? Trying new foods." He smiled when she didn't get the joke. "It's a thing everyone does with their kids. You make them try new foods, but you always hate the foods, so basically it's just your parents making you try new things for, like, ever. It's--it's a lot less funny when I explain it."

"Hm."

She held the pear in her hands when the car stopped in the Garricks' driveway. The scarab's legs flexed around her, as if it was trying to say something, but she ignored it.

"Reya?" he asked.

She blinked.

"I'm glad you decided to stick around."

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted on wattpad under euphoricsenses !! updates there are more often


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